gThe Hardest Thing

I always thought that being here,
Causes everyone so much pain…
Leaving those who care so much…
…like leaving your dog out in the rain…
I always thought it hurt the most
To miss you all so much…
To miss having someone who knows you,
To see their smile, or feel their touch…
Yet in the past 15 months,
There’s been so much that has changed…
And I’m beginning to feel like
I’m the one left in the rain…
Have you ever heard that saying
“Out of sight, and out of mind”
Well it seems that that’s what’s happened
Since I’ve been gone for all this time
Well, it’s time for a change now,
No matter how much it hurts…
Oh, and it might affect you too,
But I’ll be coming off the worst
When I get home, I will not call you,
I won’t come visit, even thought I care
Because just like you weren’t here for me,
I will no longer be there…
I wrote you letters, and I needed you,
But you couldn’t even lift a pen
All the lies you told
About letters that were never sent.

Well, before I end my thoughts
There’s a little more I want to say,
First off you need to know
I never wanted it this way.
I never thought I’d be abandoned
When I need you the most
I always thought you’d be there,
I thought we were so close.
I always thought you’d write
That our friendships would keep their strength
But it seems without me there
It has swindled through the days..
And I wonder when I get out of here
What it is that I will do.
Since the friendships I thought I had
Went from thick and solid to see through
I ‘m sorry that I have to say
I can’t forgive again and again
So I guess what I have to say
Is unfortunately this is the end.
I know I’ve never been perfect
And I haven’t always done you right
There are many times I was in the wrong
And I still put up a fight.
And I’m sorry I’ve been a disappointment
And so far I’ve failed at life…
But this will be my new beginning
And I can’t afford to screw up twice
So from here on out, this is your warning
You’re either here with me or your not
We can each go our separate ways
Or be there for each other no matter what
“I’m sorry” doesn’t do any justice
After so many of these years…
And if we really are good friends
I wouldn’t have shed all of these tears.
I can’t drink, smoke weed,
Party or do drugs,
If I do I’ll end up dead
Because my chances are surely up
So if you still want to be friends
Don’t bring it around me
Or I’ll surely be dead one way or another
And I no longer want to be
I’m sorry it has to be this way
But it’s time to put myself first
And like I told you earlier
I know I’m coning off worse
Because I care so much
And it hurts worse every time…
To know the people I think so highly of,
Are to busy getting high,
And even the ones who aren’t
Have some other excuse
It’s absurd how easily you do this to me,
Although I could never do it to you…
So back to the beginning
To the point I’m trying to prove
Our friendships were never real anyway
If I was so easy to you to lose
So now it’s done and over with
All the times I write and you don’t
It will be your turn to see how I feel
When you want me to answer and I wont
I always thought the hardest thing
Was being here without you
But now I know the hardest thing
Is being alone to face the truth.